Arc - An Angel Recomposing Carelessness

The Rope

I've been very.. Well. There are decisions to be made,

I always wonder why I fling myself into things that end up killing me inside D: I give things away too easily it seems.. Show too much; Give away the weakness. Let the words pour deep inside of my heart, and then I freeze up.. I don't pay attention in any way that would benefit me.. And then. Then I am lacking in answers.. I have no fight in me. I better go get some.. Looks like I'll need it. 

I stop talking.
I stop talking,
I stop talking
Now.

Standing still;
Is the war over yet?

Do I care if I win or lose?

It doesn't matter,
Just so long as it pleases you.

I stop talking.
I stop talking,
I stop talking
Now.

The background noise flitters in and out,
The seas vicious waves;
Sweeping me out to sea.

I do not believe.

But the tide will come back in,
That I am certain of.

I wonder,
Do you control these,
Happenings?

I stop talking.

I stand still,

I am unmoving,
I don't care.
I don't care.

I still care.

I stop talking.
I stop talking.
I stop talking.

This is an irrelevant battle of wit now.

You build upon what you've got.
And I will watch silently.

Pointless retorts in a fruitless land.

Learning the words and the lies;
Off by heart,
I know your lines.

You have no crosses to me,
Our paths are broken.

Broken.

They have been for a long time..

Still willing to fix them?..

Still willing to heal.

I stop talking,
Close my mouth
And leave.

It got passive,
It got easy,
It got harder not to...

I got reluctant and secretly seething,
Or not so secretly.

I stop talking.

Will you stop breathing?

I'd like to imagine that somewhere,
Somewhere within you,
There is a caring soul.

But I have not seen it,
I have seen tyranny; yes.

But that does not equal the compassion
Trying to escape from within you.

I stop talking.
I stop talking.
I stop standing in your wake.

Did the best man win?

Has the best woman got your back now?

I stop talking.

These lips,
They will not purse for you.

I stop talking.

I shall not shed a tear upon this empty..
Feeling.

If you could give me a sign,
Making it obvious,
If you could.

Straight forward denial;
It has to stop.

How can an army function,
With a captain that's asleep;

How can our bodies listen,
Without the technical input of nerves.

How can our hearts beat
With nothing to breath?

I stop talking.

Stop me now and maybe I'll start.

I stop talking,
Someone pull me back up.

I stop talking,
I stop moving.

This is the wall you have assisted in building;
Pretty ain't it?

I stop talking.

Won't you stop breathing?

I need a sign here,
Anything to identify the right move.

This game of chess is dwindling;
Finish the game with the move only you can make.
Finish me off.

No mercy.

I stop talking,
Silence.

I need a sign here,
Anything to peer,
Into the gloss of the sun.

I stop talking,
I stop talking,
I walk out with my arms folded.

I know you don't know,
You don't know about my perfume,
You don't know.

I know you don't know,
You don't know about my red lips,
You really don't know.

But I think you grasp what you're losing here;
Take a sip-
I wonder if you'll like it.

I stop talking.

Don't you listen to me?

I say you should take me seriously;
Or not at all.

I stop talking,
Ruffle up sleeves
And turn around.

You can have your way now.

Did you suspect this?

I wonder if.

I stop talking,
What will you say now?
Where will you go?
Who will you go with?

An empty ideal,
but I wanted it.
I realise now,
You are not an object.

And that's why..

I stop talking.

So many uanswered questions,
Maybe it's my fault.

Jumping in too deep;
Drowning is a probable possibility.

I stop talking.

Look what you've lost,
I hope it doesn't matter.
I really do.
I hope I mean nothing;
Because I wouldn't want to hurt you
If I meant something,
Anything.

I won't even say what you mean and meant to me;
That would only be to promote guilt.

I stop talking.

This is a war,
You obviously think you are in charge of.
Am I that predictable?
Reading me as I speak.

As I have read thousands of others;
Books I shall keep,
Though the covers are worn.

I stop talking.

Can you read a closed book?
I know I've tried,
And you know how that went.

I wonder if you are making a decision.
I wonder what the other options offer in my place;
I wonder what the point of this debate is.

But I don't feel like waiting,
It's hurting already.
I jumped in too quickly,
And now I am burnt.

Your mark always on me.
Your words always in me,
Covering my mind.

Littering the corridors;
The luggage I leave with,
The luggage I take away,
The things I leave behind.

Am I making a mistake?

Please inform me if I am.

For whoevers benefit;
For yours at least,
Or others you care for.

I stop talking.

"I'll give you a moment to think this through."

Gesturing to the leather seat
In front of a rather dark desk.

"Will you sit down?"

I stop talking.

And watch you carefully.

Background noise of shuffling paper,

"This is a factory you know." -

A factory of ideals;
Of beliefs.

Eyes move to the seagulls,
Calling their shrieks in the silence.

"Why who would want to fly now?!"
Gesturing arms in the air,
"The exaggerated freedom!"

Green eyes look up conveying incredulity,
But I look away.

I stop talking;

Labels: Giving It Away, Poetry, Random Banter

posted by Amarynthous @ 5:04 pm